MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2009
I was sick and had no doctor.
The first week at Agape, either due to the stress or change had made my body physically sick. I had never been in violent situations, and had never received major bodily harm. Burton told me I was fine to go to school. I accidentally threw up on one of my paces (Our unaccredited, baptist school, learning packet). Burton calmly told me to stand up, and follow him. I was walked over to Clemensen's trailer. They both took turns introducing me to the"The Paddle", a big old fashioned spanking plank. I could not sit for a few days afterwards, this came as my favorite beating since I never really bleed during it. After I was also put on the "Wall" until I fully understood why "Jesus Loved Me". I was still really sick, fever, and throwing up. It was a miserable time in my juvenile life, and I'm glad its over. The psychological damage I received at Agape, left me broken in my adult life.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2009
Junior Staff
I remember a Junior Staff member named John, I wont post his last name (Former student's may know who I'm talking about). I was on his bad side, and about 6 years younger than him. Its a matter of logic, children cannot maturely control other children. One morning we were moving rocks for our work duty, John snuck up behind me and tripped me. I fell face first into the pile of rocks I was carrying, and somehow I got a cut in my mouth. From that day on I would never trust my peers again. These small instances have impacted my life in a huge way, & I don't think even the staff understand what kind of damage they do.This is just one, of many memories I can recall about the Junior staff.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2009
My Belongings
I was given two plastic storage totes to keep all my belongings. One night I didn't close the lid properly, and Brother Burton saw my mistake. He grabbed both totes, one in each hand and carried them outside. He threw all of the contents out in the mud (It had rained a day or so before). My Bible fell on the mud and got ruined, and somehow this was going to be my fault. I'm not going to go into details about that night and the events that took place, but I can still feel the blows to my chest as I type this. That night was the first time I had ever coughed up blood. I remember feeling like I was choking, and then a hiccup feeling as I throw up straight blood. I will never forget the look of rage in Burton's eyes, the demonic look upon his face. I will never forget his "words of the lord" as I was struck......
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2009
Being Stripped Of Character
Students were not allowed to engage in conversation without a staff member monitoring every word. I was assigned a "Big Buddy" to teach me the Agape way of thinking. I was told I was to have no contact with my parents for the first month. All mail was monitored, my first letter was to my mother. I remember writing an emotional letter, telling her I was sorry and wanted to come home. At the time I didn't know anyone else would read it but my mother. The next morning at outside at breakfast (I was enrolled just after the second fire, we had no school or church facility at the time) Brother Brian read my letter in front of the school. Everyone laughed at me, and Brian burned my letter on the spot. He walked up to me and elbowed me in the jaw, I fell face first onto the cement (I was about 4'10'' and 110 pounds at the time). From that moment in my life I was broken, I developed an uncontrollable hatred toward authority. I remember looking at my blood on the cement, it hurt to stand back up.
MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 2009
My First Day
I was stripped to my boxers, given a uniform consisting of 3 different colored polo shirts, my shoes laces were taken and the tongues cut off them (I was a flight risk), my head was shaved, and I was given a Bible. The first beating was the worst, I was never abused or strikedgrowing up. Agape changed everything I understood about abuse, and what its like to really bleed. I don't remember the actual attack, I remember that night crying in the shower while bleeding from a cut somewhere on my head. That was the first night I realized that even the smallest cut on your head can leave you in a mess. I was a mere object in these so called "Christians" eyes. My parents entrusted James Clemensen because he claimed to be a "Christian". My family raised me in a very religious house, I have been a nondenominational christian my whole life. During my time at the school I slowly slipped away from God, eventually hating him. I wasn't able to handle to emotions and violence that I was exposed to at that age. I remember waking up to yelling the first morning, I got punished for bleeding on my pillow.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 2009
The First Post
I am a former Agape student. It has been a little over 10 years since I left the school, and I am only now starting to explain the psychological damage they had imprinted on my life. Let me first tell you that I'm now in my mid twenties, and a successful business owner with a loving family. Agape took away everything I thought I knew about myself, and turned me back into society confused. I had to reprogram my life, thoughts, actions, and conversations and try to adapt back into the real world. If your reading this and your child is at Agape, please reconsider your options. The place is a lie, any school who gives your little to no contact of your child has something to hide.
